With the explosion of followers and accolades on the “Herpes Addict”, it is the time I turn away from pet projects to more important matters.
Recently a man drove his car into a crowd of protestors and it has torn the country apart.
Ralpheo Alfonso of Mexico City was an ordinary hombre like anyone else until he decided to try bath salts. Ralpheo is rarely employed and spends a lot of time on his friends’ couches. He is obviously a druggy burn out and should repent lest the holy God in heaven burns his body to blood and bones. Ralpheo has experimented with crack, heroin, and cough syrup.
It is sad because his intentions were good and he wasn’t hurting anyone but himself. However, it did place a high amount of pressure on his elderly mother who was doing everything in her power to help him get back on the right track. This stressed the gentle man out more and more as his quest for God and truth became harder and harder to obtain and the world seemed to fall apart around him. Ralpheo says he will never try meth but he said the same thing about the bath salts.
It all started as a joke. A friend of Ralpheo’s had acquired some bath salts from down by the docks. Ralpheo was nervous but one thing after another and Ralpheo injected them into his testicles which is the fastest way to ingest bath salts.
Everything started out well enough until he and a friend started arguing. Aggression exploded and soon Ralpheo had ripped his friend’s penis off and stolen his car, running ram shod across the town.
The initial part of his bath salt trip was beautiful as a bath salt trip can be until everything turned wrong. Mexico citizens gathered on a lawn to protest their ability to protest. Ralpheo didn’t give a damn because his foot was pressing the pedal all the way to the ground and he only saw demons and relatives long gone. He thought he was in a bumper car with the saints and as his wheels tore heads off of bodies, he found God.
His euphoria didn’t last long though as the townspeople ripped him out of the car, decapitated him and hung his corpse from a tree for the birds eat.
The mayor of the town celebrated by receiving fellatio from two prostitutes. One was a woman.
In this day and age, don’t be so quick to judge. Everything happens and that’s all there is to it. One life was gone but if the prostitute is clever she can hold the Mayor’s semen in her mouth and use it to impregnate herself.
Protestors are losers any way you slice it and the only thing worse than protesting something is to protest that very protest. In a way when you protest a protest, what happens will happen. And if your Mayor is particularly kinky, he will bust a nut right when the wheels of the madman’s car go over your body.